Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
