why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
babies were throwing up all over the place
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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