Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
