I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
