I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
