too bad you live with your parents still
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize