pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
