hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
