p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
