my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
