no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize