Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
