goodnight i made you a song goodbye
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
