I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
