im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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