You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
