i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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