There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i can't believe i had my finger in that
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I love having hate sex.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
