Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
