Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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