So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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