im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
