Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
