quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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