I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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