is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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