what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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