i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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