You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
