BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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