absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
