I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize