I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
