Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
