I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
