People with herpes should wear stickers.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
