But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
