Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize