but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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