What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am one with the molecules
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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