Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize