Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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