This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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