So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
