im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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