walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
