mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
