If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
