She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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