Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
