I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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