Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
