Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You are a genius and a whore.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
