if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
420 ftw
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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