I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
