i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
