Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
